. crazyinlove` .

Friday, May 16, 2003

There is not too too much to talk about, namely because I did nothing today.

Ahhh, the sheer love of it all.

I went to the barn and played with my horse and took pictures of him. Got to see Joseph and Mandi and Jackie and Katelyn and Emily today. That was coooool. They came over to my house to make meatballs for the ziti dinner.

I saw my boyfriend Kyle. We are still totally enraptured by each other. He's four.

Last night I saw Dayna and we talked non stop for like four hours. It was the best thing ever. We chatted nearly everything out of our existence, and it was cleansing. There's nothing like looking into the face of this woman who has known you forever, since you were a little girl, and seeing your life reflected there. She knows everything about you, and won't hide the fact that she does. She was there on your thirteenth birthday, when you got your license, and when you fell in love for the first time. She held you when your heart broke and when you needed an escape, she offered her house, no questions asked. And you somehow hope that you did the same for her, and now that you are grown up, you are awkwardly adjusting to the needs of the other half. But somehow it feels natural, and okay, and you are sure that this is a friendship that will last another eight years.

I might borrow her prom dress. I haven't decided. The fitting still needs to be done.

Spot and I worked our butts off this afternoon, and ran around the farm like the crazy pair that we are. I took 34982 pictures of him, and got them developed. I haven't picked them up yet, but I am looking forward to it.

I am a happy person. And a little scared of the unknown.

But definitely happy. Good night.

. celebrate . `@ 12:07 AM

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

I am sitting here, in my fluffy pink princess slippers, even though I am not a big fan of wearing things on my feet because my foot is festering. I think the injury of my fourth toe is causing the circulation in my feet to be really bad, and now my feet are colder than usual. Which sucks because normally, I can withstand the cold temperature of my feet because I hate restricting things on my toes. But hey, since my fourth toe is headlocked into twelve Band-Aids anyway, what the heck? I might as well add to the pressure.

I think I'm obsessing.

On a lighter note, I babysat Nolan and Oliver today and loved it as much as always. I miss those boys a lot when I don't get to see them. They are SO big now -- five and two. We watched "Bambi" and wrestled on the bed and rode bikes around the block. It was an eventful three hours.

I went to the barn and played with my horse. I cleaned his stall and lunged him, but my foot hurt soo bad that I couldn't ride. I came home and had stir fry, and Chad and Josh came over.

I am going to prom with Chad. Yaaaaaaaaaay. This makes me really happy.

My daddy washed out my foot in the sink and put some kind of medicine and twelve Band-Aids on it. I wanted to scream and did at one point (I think) but distracted myself by talking to the boys. Rae, Chad, Josh and I went over to say goodbye to Erik since he is going to Massachusetts for a couple days. Only Rachel was supposed to go over, but we went, too. I brought him lilacs in a vase and hobbled down the driveway declaring my love for him. He ran away and laughed.

WHY DOES ERIK ALWAYS LAUGH AT ME?!

I am off to ponder this. And to talk to someone. Good night.

. celebrate . `@ 11:45 PM

Monday, May 12, 2003

I have an announcement to make. Tonight I was leaving the apartment and they have this evil rock that I have named Esmerelda. It sticks out from their tiny rock wall and I stubbed my toe on it. HARD. It's the fourth toe on my left foot, and it's all messy and bloody and gross. Erik was there and I hobbled into his arms and he hugged me and held me while I told him I wanted to vomit. This is how the conversation went.

Me:"Erik, I want to vomit."
Erik: "Are you sick?"
Me:"No, I stubbed my toe."
Erik: " Do you always feel like vomiting when you stub your toe?"
Me:"No, this time I stubbed it hard."
Erik: *laughs mercilessly*

Did you guys catch all that?

I'm practically dying and he is laughing at me.

Oh, just wait. It gets worse.

Then I hobble over to say goodbye to Ralph or someone -- I don't remember, I was too upset -- and Erik mocked my hobbling. He called it bad hobbling.

Ladies and gentleman, I ask you: HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO BE A BAD HOBBLER?!

I don't know. But I apparently am. So if you have never seen crappy hobbling, just let me know and I'll be glad to demonstrate. Then I bled all over my white flip flops. Anyone who knows me well knows what a pain in the butt it is for me to clean my white flip flops that I adore so much. Tomorrow I must bleach them. AGAIN. They're sticky and gross and bloody.

Other than this extremely large crisis, I had a fabulous day. Talked to Josh Reno on the phone.. I woke him up this morning. On purpose. *hehehe* Went in for a job interview, and it went reallyreally well. Visited my horse. Picked Josh up from the Purificatos' and went to Dayna's to pick up the Miss Divine One herself. Josh and I had a good talk. I miss talking to him. Bible study was good.. we talked about God's love. It sounds so basic and Sunday school, but start thinking about it.. it's amazing. My pinch from God tonight: "Love keeps no record of wrongs." I realized I'd been doing that with one person in particular, and that I had to let it go. So I did. Or at elast, I'm working on it. ;)

Went out with Josh afterwards. We tried to go to Friendly's but that didn't work, so we ended up at Mickey D's, eating and talking. I love talking with Josh because after I'm done, or as I'm explaining things, they get so much clearer. And I know that he is honestly listening to me, and not just there in body.

I am home and I love my boys.

My heart dances tonight.

. celebrate . `@ 11:57 PM

On the edge, waiting for your name.

. celebrate . `@ 12:10 AM

It has been such a rough week. Finals, packing, saying goodbyes to people that are like your family because you live with them. It's been really hard, and I don't even know what I'm thinking right now. It's overwhelming to be back here. It doesn't feel like it fits exactly right, but at the same time, it feels like home and like what I've been missing all along. I have slept like crazy in the past day, and can't get enough of my bed. Tomorrow I have to get up and get a job, and I can't wait. I am so motivated because I realize I only have a very short time to earn money.

This weekend Dayna is going to stay with me because my parents and Rachel are going to be out of town. We are going to cause madness and get into trouble.. I know, I know, it's hard to picture but trust me. We'll find a way, won't we, D? ;)

I want to go check online and see if I can see my grades yet.. hold on.

Crap, I can't.

My cell phone isn't getting any service and I want to talk to Emily. It's making me really mad. I miss her lots. It's weird to not have her around. It's lonely and quiet.

I had spaghetti for dinner tonight and then went over to the barn to see my horse. Rae and I went to the DeMarcos' so I could see DAYNA. It was soooo exciting. You have no idea. D fed me ice cream and we chatted. Now we are talking online about our fun fun fun weekend -- next weekend.

I am listening to Simple Plan now. They make me happy.

So I think it's time for me to go get some e-mail taken care of and turn in.. tomorrow's going to be a busy day. Hugs and kisses.

SHOUTOUTS
~ Emmy -- I miss you, my sweetness and fluffernutter!!!!!!!!!! I'll call you tomorrow.
~ Andy Black -- You are the best counselor ever.
~ Christe -- I miss you, Texas!! I'll call you as soon as I know you're back home.
~ Lauren -- Ditto on you, sweetie. Air Force hooooooaaahhhh.
~ Jeremiah -- Keep it real, East Coast.

Turning the page.

. celebrate . `@ 12:08 AM