Saturday, October 30, 2004
I am thinking tonight about what it would be to not have a bad dream at night. Even the nights when I can't remember them, I know that they happened. The sheets are a mess, the pillow is sweaty, things have been kicked onto the floor. And I am never rested.
What would it be like to not have to figure out in the morning where you've thrown things in the night? To not stay up as late as possible so that I'm exhausted when I fall into bed and don't have time to think of other things? To not miss my nightlight? To wonder what I am supposed to do if I wake up and can't remember where I am? To not have a hard time breathing when I think about the fact that my parents aren't right down the hall and that I can't go over to Dayna's if I need someone to hold me in my sleep?
I will just keep praying that some day
those dreams can come true.
. celebrate . `@ 1:28 AM
Friday, October 29, 2004
Dayna prayed an awesome prayer for me to keep me going.
I turned some white things pink for the first time. Yes! The true laundry experience.
I might stop going over all these ridiculous notes and do some work on my room. I just don't know what I want.
. celebrate . `@ 3:11 AM
I have returned from the Willetts North laundry room, where I had an excellent conversation with Holly about being jaded, my grandmother, what makes me cry in the middle of the night, cute underwear and growing up.
It's those things that make staying up all night worth it.
. celebrate . `@ 1:14 AM
I just think that it's time for a new layout. I simply don't have the time or energy to put into it. Maybe when life calms down a little bit..
That was a funny joke.
I like how 3/4 of the days this week have been so beautiful. It makes me happy to be outside and walk the dog in the leaves. Snow doesn't like it when you blow dandelion fluff onto his nose. Trust me. I tried it today.
I don't want to study for macro tonight. I am going to pull an all nighter and get so many things done. Everyone will be so proud of me. I will keep you updated. Right now, I am going to go put some laundry in and re-read some of my chapters.
. celebrate . `@ 12:04 AM
Monday, October 25, 2004
There is nothing like an Eagles game in brisk weather to warm your heart.
I heart NFL games. And big, drunk, obnoxious screaming women. Ben was closer to her so he could protect me.
On Saturday, I got up early and did lots of homework and things around my room so that I could leave for Cleveland Saturday night. Ben and I went out to eat at California Pizza Kitchen with Janna and her mom and siblings, then drove to Cleveland where we caught the end of the Sox game.
They were triumphant. I was so happy, but so sleepy that I could only do a little dance and not a big one in celebration.
I tried to watch the news, but I didn't want to see the animal abuse case so I blocked my ears and went "lalalalalala" until it was over. Then I went to bed on the couch (or so Ben says), but when I woke up in the morning, I was on the floor with all of my blankets cocooned around me. It was apparently more comfortable. I don't know. I'm a weird sleeper.
In the morning, I ate powdered sugar donuts and talked to Lauren, Mark's little sister, about Hilary Duff. We went to church and the message was good. Four girls did an interpretive dance to Nichole Nordeman's song "Every Season". I loooove Nichole Nordeman and I have her autograph from my senior year of high school when she opened for Stephen Curtis Chapman and it was super great.
After the game, we drove back and Ben and I stopped at Arby's twice. I wasn't hungry the first time. We walked Snow for an hour, but when Ben was in the SSC, Snow and I saw a fireball. It was aMAZing. I wonder if there will be something on the news about it.
Now I am going to bed. Sleep well, children. Lovelovelove.
. celebrate . `@ 1:00 AM
